The Confessions of Dorian Gray: The Spirits of Christmas

My first real exposure to The Confessions of Dorian Gray was last months series 4. Since then I have pretty much caught up, I only have a few episodes of series 3 to catch up with. You could say I was mesmerised by season 4, drawn in by the singular charm of Mr Gray and his sad lonely immortality – and you would be right. But series 4 was only a very small part of the picture – because in series 1 there was a rather beautiful story called The Heart That Lives Alone (available here) in which Dorian meets, for want of a better description his soul mate – a vampire called Tobias Matthews, played by Hugh Skinner. They have a beautiful heartfelt and moving relationship – two old old men, young beyond their time, sharing their immortality together. It ends, as it must in a bittersweet tragic way, in a way that only their relationship could.

But Toby came back – Love it seems is too strong to keep them apart and as these two special Christmas releases begin, Dorian and Toby have almost become a domesticated old married couple, happy and cozy and looking forward to Christmas – a nice quiet Christmas with whisky and frolics and Playstations. It was never going to happen…

This set is two distinct separate stories and give us the events that lead up to and take place at Christmas 2015 for Dorian and Toby

Desperately Seeking Santa by Tim Leng

Early December 2015 a suburban couple are found dead, horribly mutilated whilst putting up the Christmas decorations. A few nights later the killer breaks in to Dorian and Toby’s bedroom and tries to steal Dorian’s eyes – the thing is, the killer is none other than Father Christmas, albeit a strange, decrepit, smelly, horrific Father Christmas, but it’s Father Christmas nonetheless – and even though Toby saves Dorian this time, Old Saint Nick promises he will be back for Dorian’s eyes…

This is a classic, gruesome Christmas story, very Victorian gothic in its construction – and given gravitas and atmosphere by the note perfect narration of Colin McFarlane who fills in the gaps in the story with a cold seriousness with a touch of the avuncular – it really is the narration that gives the story that certain “Christmassy” feel that is so difficult to achieve – because the story of an immortal serial killer who may or may not be Santa is about as far away from Christmas cheer as you can get. Vlahos and Skinner are wonderful as Dorian and Toby – their relationship that spans the ages is deep and true, there is genuine love between the soulless immortal and the Vampire. Is it doomed for a second time, can love really transcend immortality? You will have to listen on to find out…

All Through the House by Alan Flanagan

It is Christmas Day and Toby has his Playstation – Dorian wants to stay in to watch Eastenders, but Toby persuades him to go for a Christmas night out. It really was a night where Dorian should have said no to temptation.

They end up in the mythical Brigadoon Hotel. Thing is this hotel disappeared almost a century ago and only appears on Christmas Day, and if you stay there longer than midnight then you are trapped forever.

This is a different take on a Christmas ghost story – it is more of a modern horror using the “Haunted Hotel” genre as used in The Twilight Zone or the film 1408. Dorian and Toby are trapped, with figments from their past like Dorian’s sister Dora (a brilliant Katy Manning) and with each floor in the hotel offering a fresh Hell for the lovers to suffer: World War II, The Lucitania, The Tundra, as they try to get to floor 13 and to the mysterious man in charge. They really should have stayed at home and watched Eastenders.

A much more adventure bound quest story (albeit set inside a hotel) but with a doom-laden atmosphere and a sense of creeping dread that even a Christmas Eastenders cannot match. This story will have a profound effect on Dorian for a very long time to come.

Two very different stories told in very different styles – one body horror, the other psychological horror, one literary the other filmic, both played with utter conviction from the cast Vlahos and Skinner who make a surprisingly sweet couple despite their innate arrogance. David Warner is chilling and somewhat pathetic as Father Christmas, Gabriel Woolf will make your blood run cold as The Man Upstairs – and the rest of the supporting are played by the great and the good of Big Finish. This is a real Christmas treat, different in style to the main series, more traditional in its storytelling, but no less enthralling for it.

9/10.

207 - You Are The Doctor & Other Stories

In the 1980’s a huge craze with me and my friends was Fighting Fantasy game books, even now I have an almost complete collection, still have not managed to crack Crypt of the Sorcerer and my friend Bellis and I laugh about House of Hell with the ending no-one saw coming (spoiler: attack Franklins…). For those not in the know Fighting Fantasy was the ultimate ‘choose your own adventure” book – the reader played the hero and had to make choices by turning to specific paragraphs, solving puzzles and fighting monsters with a dice based combat system – usually there was one or two safe routes through the book, occasionally only one – they were the interactive adventures of their time and still fun by today’s standards.

But why dear reader am I reminiscing about a pastime from my past? Well this months main range release is another of Big Finish’s semi regular portmanteau series of four short adventures – this one is called “You Are The Doctor and Other Stories” and therein lies my Fighting Fantasy link – because in the first story the listener is invited Fighting Fantasy style to take on the role of The Doctor. Interested? then read on…

The stories for a very loose arc regarding The Doctor teaching Ace to pilot the TARDIS and the places she arrives, but as the set of stories progresses a particular line from The Doctors’ Wife regarding the TARDIS always taking the Doctor where he was needed will come to mind. As I said earlier this is split into four stories and they are:

You Are the Doctor by John Dorney

 This is a very interesting and very clever take on the audio format as you really can play it like a Fighting Fantasy book – The Doctor and Ace have landed on the airship of the dreaded Porcians – pig like creatures who are the worst invaders in the universe. Ever.Bar none… But this time something has changed, they have managed to succeed in invading and exploiting a whole planet? But how? You are the Doctor and you must find out. This one is best listened to on a CD as the choices that Chimbly (the Porcian leader) gives to you involve skipping to different tracks and I felt I lost a little bit of the fun by listening to it linear on my iPod whilst driving. It is a very funny story, a bit more Season 24 than 25/26 with a lot of whimsy even though the situation is quite horrific – the humour is very broad but this is counterpointed by the true horror of the Porcians’ secret. If you listen to this like an audio Fighting Fantasy book you will get a lot of replay value as you try to make the right choices to succeed. A brave, but not quite perfect experiment with the format.

Come Die With Me by Jamie Anderson

This is much more like Season 26 era Who. Even down to the setting. An old creepy haunted house, a murder (or 1,868) and a race against time. As a Who fan you will guess and second guess the resolution to the mystery – I suspected who the villain was at one point, I thought I had “Mr Norris” all sorted out only for this avenue not to be followed – its a very clever way of playing with fans expectations. At the heart of it this is a very sophisticated murder mystery set up by the mysterious Mr Norris – a guest is invited to his home to solve a murder, the prize being Mr Norris famed Library – the guest can investigate any room apart from the Library, then when they are ready, they go to the Library to solve the murder – if they are correct, they win. If they are incorrect the killer claims another victim. Proper edge of seat heart in mouth listening as the Doctor gets involved in Mr Norris’ games and is involved in a race against time to save Ace becoming the next victim. A very good short story.

The Grand Betelgeuse Hotel by Christopher Cooper

The third story begins at the end – Ace is on trial for acts of terror and murder, her life is at stake if she is found guilty. How did she get in to this situation, where is The Doctor and why did they ever arrive to the Grand Betelgeuse Hotel? Remember Time Heist? This is the audio equivalent with The Doctor and Ace involved in a gang trying to commit a robbery which goes horribly wrong and ends up with Ace on trial. I quite like the unreliable narrator genre of storytelling, and in this case there is a real sense of urgency as Ace is talking for her life – throughout this short half an hour we find out all about the Hotel and why it exists, about the indigenous species that have been suppressed and the desperate measures some will go to for their family. It’s a very exciting story and for its short length it really builds a complete world and society which would be interesting to revisit in a longer main range story.

Dead to the World by Matthew Elliott

Last but very much not least is Dead to the World. Again Ace pilots the TARDIS to a location that she does not want to be at. This location is the Daedalus – one of the first tourist spaceships from the Planet Earth, unfortunately the tourists have fallen victim to a mysterious space plague that is liquefying them, reducing them to primordial soup. This plays like a classic Doctor Who base under siege story – a small group of trapped people slowly being bumped off one by one, the Doctor and Ace get involved and are accused of being at fault. It even has a callous officious ships captain who is deaf to all ideas apart from her own. So far so classic What jars in this story is the villains of the piece – intergalactic estate agents – the humour is just too forced and almost whimsical and does not sit well with the tone of the earlier parts of the story. McCoy is excellent as the burgeoning “Oncoming Storm” and uses guile, cunning and his own reputation to resolve the situation (very much like a New Who Doctor) And then there is the ending and the hook for another series of adventures for Seven and Ace.

A very claustrophobic mixed bag of stories and some very interesting and very brave new takes on traditional audio story telling and whilst not always a success I applaud the vision and bravery of Big Finish for commissioning them and taking a gamble with the format. The McCoy era was a very experimental left-field era so there is no better Doctor to use these left-field story telling techniques with, they really suit his Doctor completely and through this set we get to hear the clownish Season 24 version all the way through to the Oncoming Storm of Season 26 and beyond. Overall an uneven mix of clever new ideas and I applaud the bravery.

7/10.

The War Doctor - Only The Monstrous

The words “Eagerly” and “awaited” are often applied to some releases – like a certain Seventh Episode of a popular film franchise also released this week – or The Strictly Final or every single annual iPhone release.

Back in 2013 the words “eagerly” and “awaited” applied pretty much exclusively to the Doctor Who 50th Anniversary story, and its introduction of the hitherto unseen and unmentioned “War Doctor”.

For Eight years we had assumed that it was Paul McGann’s 8th Doctor that had fought in the Time War – but that was all changed – there was a secret Doctor, his sham and guilt so much that he didn’t even use the name “Doctor” – and in the guise of a lesser actor this may not have worked, but in the hands of John Hurt we really were given something very special – a world weary, or should that be a Universe weary portrayal, a man faced with an impossible choice, a man being the Doctor when it was impossible to live up to that name……

“Eagerly” and “awaited” are also two words that completely apply to this box set – Big Finish have pulled a blinder not only in getting the rights to the New Series, but also succeeding in persuading the wonderful John Hurt to reprise his role in not one but four box sets that tell the tale of the War Doctor.

How to describe this set? Hmm….

Using my usual flowery verbose method – imagine that Nick Briggs (all hail The Briggs) was an architect. Now imagine that he was the Doctor Who equivalent of one of the masters of the Brutalist Movement – a Peter Smithson with a ring modulator if you will. Looking from the outside Briggs has created a harsh, brutal, epoch spanning epic – the Universe has gone to hell, all chewed up and spat out again and again by the Time War – BUT get closer to the Brutalist Architecture, move in to the harsh, martial cold war era building and look outwards, look at the walls, doors, fixtures and fittings and imagine they were designed by a Pre-Raphaelite idealised designer like William Holman-Hunt with the lyricism of the romantic poets. Because what looks, harsh, brutal and functional has some really quite beautiful, lyrical, soft and sweet moments. In Who terms think of Pertwee’s “Daisiest Daisy” speech. In terms of design and counterpoint Briggs has got the balance perfect – the right mix of spectacle and sadness – and this box set’s story is told in three parts.

The Innocent

In a supreme act of self sacrifice The War Doctor defeats the Daleks at Omega One and is pronounced dead. But he is given a second chance of life on the Planet Keska where he is nursed back to health by a young would be companion called Rejoice. But he finds out that even this paradise has its demons.

An interesting beginning, after the initial grand scale battle this is a very very small scale character piece and serves for the listener to get to know The War Doctor. And what a Doctor he is. Or isn’t. He wont let anyone use his name as he has renounced what it means to be The Doctor – but he is still a good and moral man, but very much a man defined by the situation he is in rather than the man that defines the situation – this Warrior (for that is what he chose) is cantankerous, short tempered and brusque – very much like Hartnell and as Rejoice gets to know him more, we get to see the layers of his personality revealed and we see a caring, moral crusader who is more than willing to do the right thing for the right reasons.

The Thousand Worlds

Brutalism is personified in this episode – if part one was lyrical and sweet this is industrial and harsh. The Warrior is sent to rescue a fellow Time Lord called Seratrix from behind a temporal Null Zone – what he finds is the world of Keska obliterated by The Dalek’s – turned into a slave world as they have with the other worlds in this sector of space and a rather familiar Dalek master plan to turn not only Keska, but the 1000 planets of this sector of space into a moveable battle fleet.

This is a very political episode, who is manipulating who? – a real homage to boys own World War 2 fiction with a mission behind enemy lines, fifth columnists and a chilling re-using of the phrase “Peace in our Time”

The Heart of the Battle

If you do what you have to do even though it is the wrong thing, but the only choice – does that make the protagonist a monster? That is the question posed by this final episode. With peace in sight, only the Warrior doesn’t believe it can be achieved and desperately looks for another way apart from peace. This is the real difference between the Warrior and his other incarnations – the others would have looked for a peaceful solution at any cost, they are and were idealists – this one is a pragmatist doing what needs to be done to resolve the immediate situation. A moving and shocking conclusion to the set.

I started this review using two words “eagerly” and “awaited” I will bring it to an end using two further words “John” and “Hurt” – the man is effortless and an exceptional focal point for the series – his character grows throughout the three episodes, Nick Briggs imbues him with a real character progression and Hurt brings these observations to life – his outrage, his knowing cunning, his caring, his self-loathing. Briggs pitches and Hurt knocks it out of the park.

I feel a bit of an old meanie not mentioning the rest of the cast – sorry they all really rise to the script – Jacqueline Pearce as the arch manipulator Cardinal Ollistra, Beth Chalmers as the obsequious Velkin, Alex Wyndham as Seratrix, all provide light and shade to the proceedings. But best supporting actress goes to two ladies playing the same character Lucy Briggs-Owen and Carolyn Seymour as the younger and older Rejoice respectively – in different times with a different Doctor – she would have been a perfect companion, she has it all and is more than a match for The Warrior, this being the Time War, she isn’t given that choice…

So an epic, brutal, but sometimes beautiful set, wonderfully acted and written with an epic sweeping score and a great martial re-imagining of the theme song – and very much eagerly awaited. Cinema for the ears is a good description and in the week that a certain seventh episode of a certain franchise is released that certain seventh episode has a lot to live up to. Briggs and Hurt 1 – Lucas and Abrahams 0.

All Consuming Fire

For a few year now this has been top of the wish-list for many fans. And its not difficult to see why – the idea of Doctor Who meeting Sherlock Holmes is pure gold.

What a lot of fans don’t realise is that it has already happened…

Lets rewind back to 1994 – the New Adventures are going strong, the Seventh Doctor, Ace and Bernice are busy having adventures to broad and deep for the small screen – some fans minds are being expanded by possibilities of life beyond a TV show, others are sticking their fingers in their ears and crying into their scarves (I was 80% one half 20% the other I will let you decide the way the split falls) anyhow, in 1994 a rather special pastiche of Sherlock Holmes called “All Consuming Fire” by Andy Lane was released – written in the style of Conan-Doyle, mainly from the viewpoint of Dr Watson, but with some chapters from the viewpoint of Bernice Summerfield, it was, and remains today one of the highlights of Doctor Who in book form – imagine my joy when I found out that Big Finish were adapting it for audio – to say I was pleased is an understatement!

As details began to filter through it was announced that the one and only Nick Briggs would be playing Holmes and Richard Earl would be playing Dr Watson, and if you have not heard this duo before I urge you to check out some of Big Finish’s Sherlock Holmes range here they are pretty near the definitive Holmes and Watson – Briggs is aloof and cerebral, Earl is heart and manners, the chemistry between them is immense – you can close your eyes and be transported to Baker Street with just a few phrases from each of them.

Surely there must be a downside – it all just seems too good. Let me think – McCoy, Aldred, Bowerman, Briggs, Earl – adapted by arch Holmesian Guy Adams, directed by Scott Handcock, it definitely has all the ingredients, and unlike Eric Morecambe attempting to play Greig – they all most definitely are in the right order.

This is a very faithful adaptation of the novel – yes some sections have been edited for pace and decency but it feels like a Holmes story that the Doctor has wandered in to – let me elaborate.

It begins not with the Doctor Who theme but with the Sherlock Holmes theme – we really are in Briggs and Earl’s world – Holmes and Watson are charged by the Pope to recover some stolen books from the Library of St. John the Beheaded, a repository for banned and dangerous books hidden away in the squalor of the St. Giles Rookery. Whilst investigating they encounter the Doctor who decides to get involved in their investigations…

The first meeting of the Doctor and Sherlock is interesting – Sherlock cannot read the Doctor, he cannot deduce where the mud on his trousers is from or any other traits which would leave you or I an open book to the great detective – Holmes is immediately suspicious of the Doctor and pairs him off with Watson to investigate other members of the Library whilst Holmes himself takes his investigation to the criminal underworld who provide the Library’s security…

Like all good adventure stories there has to be a  villain and in All Consuming Fire the villain of the piece is Victorian Empire builder Baron Maupertuis and like all good villains he has a henchman – the seven foot tall behemoth Surd, who as well as having fists like hams is also enamoured of some pretty special powers. Maupertuis has a plan to expand the boundaries of the British Empire into the stars – but how is this connected to the thefts from the library and to an incident in the past of the Holmes family?

The story itself is a fast paced roller coaster of a boys own adventure involving not only stolen books, but Sherlock’s older brother Sheringford a trip to Bombay, a stay at an Indian Raj’s palace, a trip to another world, spontaneous combustion and Cats! And if that isn’t enough for you it has Bernice “going all Shakespearian” and pretending to be a man “Bernard Summerfield” complete with comedy man voice, Ace all dressed in rubber, an Elder God, Professor Litefoot being name-checked and again Cats!

You may just get the impression that I enjoyed this one, and you would be right – its not quite perfect, the ending is a bit muddled but that can be forgiven as the actual journey to get there the interplay between Holmes and the Doctor, the coy flirtation between Bernice and Watson, Ace’s reports are superb. Also the music evokes Holmesian London and Victorian India wonderfully really drawing you in to the story and losing yourself in the plot.

So, for all you fans wanting a meet up of Smith and Cumberbatch I say pah! to you… Bow-tie and mind palace cannot compare to question mark brolly and deerstalker – if you don’t believe me episode one is free here give it a go, you have literally nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Overall an All Consuming dream come true for Whovians and Holmesians.

10/10.

Theatre Of War

Where were you when Tomb of the Cybermen was recovered? If I remember correctly it was a dark night in January 1992, and a tiny stop press article was printed in Doctor Who Magazine. I cant really remember the months in-between, but I think it was released on VHS (remember them?) in May 1992, and I remember going to Woolworths (remember them?) in LLandudno (most assuredly still there) to purchase a copy and then going back to my home in Trefriw to watch this lost classic. And it was, well it was ok, it was good but maybe not the great holy grail we had been led to believe…

Then in 1994 a novel was released in the New Adventures range which consciously or unconsciously followed my Tomb odyssey, the novel was Theatre of War by Justin Richards and it involved a much heralded lost play called The Good Soldiers being discovered and a lot more to boot, because back in 1994 we didn’t realise what an important pivotal novel that this would be to the expanded Whoniverse.

This latest adaptation is an adaptation of Theatre of War and the story itself is part archeological dig, part mystery, part space opera and part foreshadowing of future events – no small feat for 4 episodes of less than half an hour each. The story begins with The Seventh Doctor, Ace and Bernice (my all-time favourite TARDIS team) seemingly trapped in a production of Hamlet and once they escape they find themselves on the planet Menaxus where an archaeological dig from the war torn planet Helatia is excavating the remains of a Theatre, it seems that the Helatians have a culture which values theatre and when one of their number discovers a seemingly lost play “The Good Soldiers” by Stanoff Osterling the stakes are well and truly raised…

What follows is a classic piece of space opera and deception – whilst Ace and The Doctor are left on Menaxus to investigate the site, Benny visits the legendary Braxiatel Collection. I will pause here for an historical interlude…

Cast your minds back to 1979 – Paris, Scaroth, Tom and Lalla and a throwaway line about the “Braxiatel Collection” – this is the Braxiatel mentioned in that line.

And we are back in the room – Braxiatel has played a big part in Benny’s life and in the events on Gallifrey but this is their first chronological meeting – and what a devious piece of work he is. Played with urbane charm and just a little arrogance by Miles Richardson – Braxiatel out manipulates the arch manipulating Doctor Seven and allows Benny into his confidence about the real reason for the theatre and lost play being on Menaxus – because Braxiatel has been playing a very long game…

For such a complex narrative, it fits nicely into the four part structure – it never seems over complicated and all the pieces fit together nicely – it makes perfect sense and as the layers of the plot are peeled back rather than infuriating the listener feels rewarded and drawn into the confidence of the writer. This really is Benny’s story and she gets to flex her brain in solving the mystery of Menaxus whilst forming the basis of a very long acquaintance with Braxiatel – Lisa Bowerman is note perfect as Benny and really steals the show and her scenes with Braxiatel are the highlights of the story.

It is a story of contrasts with the more cerebral “talky” scenes of Benny and Braxiatel contrasting with the action packed space opera that the Doctor and Ace find themselves in – the scale is grand, an interplanetary war that one side is inevitably going to lose, a despotic tyrant who is no more than a spoiled child and a long seeded plan coming to fruition.

Clever but not smug, convoluted but not confusing, epic but still characterful and definitely no tragedy.

9/10.

TORCHWOOD - ONE RULE

Being both Welsh and a Councillor I really shouldn’t like this release. Really shouldn’t like it at all – because this story not only relentlessly lampoons certain traits of my nations capital, but also parodies Councillors as self serving parochial and small minded. If a story can succeed despite this then we must be on to a good thing, and with One Rule writer Joseph Lidster has crafted a great thriller that is combined with a fish out of water comedy and the return of the eternally beautiful Tracy-Ann Oberman as Yvonne Hartman (from the Doctor Who story Army of Ghosts/Doomsday).

Lets rewind a bit shall we – this story is set in 2005, a year or so before Torchwood launched on TV, so this is the pre Gwen Cooper era (even though she is very cleverly referenced at a bar room brawl) and Yvonne Hartman is on a visit to Torchwood 3 in Cardiff to retrieve a piece of alien tech but this sophisticated London Lady is about to end up in a completely alien situation – she is going to experience the horrors of a night out in Cardiff!

The Mayor of Cardiff is dead, killed in the Auton invasion seen in the TV episode Rose – and now the rivals for the position of new Mayor are being bumped off one by one, killed horribly by a seven foot tall blue alien, killed by having their heads bitten off – and when her hotel is burned to the ground Yvonne Hartman teams up with Councillor Barry Jackson (Gareth Armstrong) on a night out in Cardiff never to be forgotten. Yvonne has to try to keep Barry and Councillor Helen Evans (Rebecca Lacey) alive until the trains start again (last train to London leaves Cardiff at 21:30) so that she can get them to Torchwood One in London for safe keeping.

As I said earlier – I should be offended by this story – but it is hilarious, a parody of some of the less sophisticated, more provincial aspects of certain parts of Cardiff – from Yvonne having to down a pint of Diamond White, to her being mistaken for a drag queen, to being vomited on in the ladies of a seedy nightclub – this is new territory for Yvonne – (she has tea with the Queen twice weekly you know) but takes it all in the line of duty for Queen and Country.

Underneath it all, this is a story about identity – all the main protagonists – Yvonne, Helen, Barry are not the people they pretend to be – and it takes a night out from hell to strip away the facade they have created and for the real person to come out – Yvonne’s revelation, and her transformation from cool, calm, calculating right-wing people person to “something from Steven King” is shocking to behold. The public’s capacity for self delusion is again alluded to – an alien invasion a few weeks ago but all the citizens of Cardiff seem interested in is who is going to win Strictly (Obviously its going to be Anton and Katie) or maybe people just want to feel comfortable and not threatened so they retreat away from the horrors of the world into a safe place.

The performances are all excellent – Barry and Helen as parodies of parodies of local Councillors, the denizens of Cardiff’s more seedy parts all beautifully caricatured – but Tracy-Ann Oberman steals the show with her cut glass accent and withering barely disguised contempt for the situation she finds herself in – Tracy-Ann just has one of thosevoices like Nigella or Alex Kingston that make men of a certain age go weak at the knees – and I hope we hear more of her very soon as Yvonne’s story is nowhere near being told – any chance someone in Big Finish could commission a story about her rise to power?

Overall a rough night in a rough part of a beautiful City but a diamond performance from all involved and a polished script 9/10.

The Confessions of Dorian Gray Series 4

Where to start? where to start? Hmmm… The beginning was a long long time ago, Oscar Wilde wrote a book called The Picture of Dorian Gray, which went on to become a classic. In this book a young member of the upper classes called Dorian Gray, who is the epitome of male beauty, has a portrait painted – he muses that he would like to remain as un-ageing as the portrait, and he gets what he wishes for. As Gray leads a more and more debauched life it leaves no mark on him: the drinking, the indulgence in drugs, the womanising – all leave no mark on Dorian  - whilst his portrait bears the brunt of his excesses and grows more and more monstrous. The story is a fiction written by Oscar Wilde, but what if it wasn’t? What if Dorian Gray was real? What if he were a peer of Oscar Wilde and Wilde just wrote a sort of biography disguised as fiction? that is the theory that the Confessions of Dorian Gray presents and now in its fourth series we have another eight stories, another eight interludes from the immortal Dorian Gray.

Dorian is real, he lived and still lived and these are his confessions – and the title “confessions” is very apt – these audio stories are unlike any other series the Big Finish have produced.

First of all there is no title or closing theme music – now in itself that isn’t a big deal, but these stories don’t feel like stories – they are a lot more intimate than that.

Secondly, I have a feeling that Mr Gray is not the most reliable of narrators – that the stories he is relaying are merely his take on circumstances, that with hundreds, maybe thousands of years of hindsight from when these events happened to when he tells the story, certain embellishments may have been made.

No – this is a very unique series, in fact the listener is made to feel like a confessor or a psychiatrist as Gray relays his tales of terror and debauchery. The eight stories are in no particular order, they are not consecutive, they flit back and forth throughout Dorian’s long long life – it is almost like Dorian is in the room with you and is unburdening himself, and the stories all have one thing in common – they all deal with the theme of loss. Because as long and as varied as his life is, being immortal Dorian has to deal with loss – sometimes people die, sometimes they move on, sometimes assignations are only fleeting, people and times move on – parties, substance abuse, alcohol and womanising loses its lustre, but Dorian Gray goes on.

And bringing Dorian to life is the one and only Alexander Vlahos – narrating seemingly random tales from Dorian’s life he imbues Gray with a weariness of a man who has lived too long, a man trying to fill in eternity when life has lost its taste where people he has me sometimes become memories and then forgotten altogether – a man so bored of life that in one episode he books himself into “a very nice private hospital” to get his appendix removed just to remove the boredom of existence. Vlahos captures the weariness perfectly and at different points in his life he really does want to do the right thing (or maybe this is just as the unreliable narrator remembers it) but throughout his life he is plagued by demons of one form or another – metaphors for his guilt at the life he has led or literal monsters is up to the listener to decide but the demons are there.

Some audios are good to be listened to with friends or family – The Confessions of Dorian Gray demands  to be listened to as a solitary experience, because for the duration of the box set YOU the listener are the confessor and Dorian is talking just to you – give it a try episode one The Enigma of Dorian Gray is available free HERE and you will see what I mean.

I recommend that these reminiscences are accompanied by a glass of fine Shiraz, with the lights dimmed and for you to lose yourself in Dorian’s confessions – I for one will certainly be catching up with the earlier stories and I recommend that you do too. An uncomfortable, intimate and soul-bearing experience, superbly performed and leaving a feeling of loss and melancholy that maybe just one more glass of Shiraz may not take away… 10/10.